Strange Predilection

Sometimes I really do wonder what the hell’s wrong with Ms iSkirt.
So, it’s February 14, and there are wonderful romantic gestures happening all over, and I gotta tell you, I fucking hate that shit.
I am currently NOT RANTING about the stupidity of it. Sometimes I fucking amaze me, the self control I have. Instead of ranting I’m just going to let it eat away at my obsessive compulsive self. It’s a nicer way to suffer than some. Anywaze… Ms iSkirt…
We met on the internet. She was looking for, well, I’m not sure exactly what her profile said, except for “hopefully not allergic to cats.” She added that “kind to birds” thing in after we’d started seeing each other, on account of me throwing a stick or something at an annoying seagull while we were trying to eat lunch, so I reckon it was never part of the contract. Is there a contract ?
Imagine if everyone had to live up to what they wrote on their dating site profile ?
Most people say a whole lot of stuff about themselves, but really it says who they want to be, not who they are. At least it makes that clear for them. I said nothing about me really. I just used it for a rant. If anyone reminds me to, I’ll post the rant here, cos it’s no longer available on the dating site on account of Ms iSkirt thinking dating site profiles should be made unavailable once people are in a relationship. Sounds fair enough.
People also have huge long lists of stuff about the type of person they’re looking for. At least they know what they think they want. All I wrote in that section was “Hot, cool, and way too good for me.”
And along came Ms iSkirt, and I got everything I asked for.
That should have been the end of this post, cos it’s about as Happy Valenteenies Day as I’m ever likely to get. But, dammit, I’m not really sane, so I can’t just leave it can I ? Thing is, well, let’s start with he photo above.
Averil Dean and Girl in the Hat, your recent truth or dare exercise led to that. Wonderful blog posts. Anyone that reads this that didn’t see them, you really must go there and read them. Well, must is a strong word. Miss out on the most entertaining posts/comments ever if you like. I’d link to them, but I’m not James Fucking Patterson or something, here to make your reading experience easy. Work for it. Read Howard Jacobson too while you’re in a working at it mood, he is A Great Writer. Back on topic would be good Harry.
This rambling is all a good example of what I’m trying to say.
What the hell is wrong with Ms iSkirt ? Why did she choose me ? I’m a mess of mood swings that can’t be cleaned up. A bipolar freak who can’t tolerate medication. I have constant pain too, which makes me a Very Fucking Cheery Soul Indeed. I rant and rave about things I can’t change in the world, and let them bring me down, down, down until the shit on the ground looks like mountains. I also recently discovered I’m a bit loose with the truth. That surprised me. Not in the good way. I say inappropriate things, have few social skills, my hygiene could be a little more consistent too. “Have you had a shower lately?” “Umm. Yeah. On, umm, the other day. I think.”
There’s a lot of other shitty stuff about me too, but this is too long already, and I think little enough of me today without making it worse.
Thing is, I’m pretty sure all the things I just said I am weren’t on Ms iSkirt’s What I’m Looking For In A Partner List. So what the hell is wrong with Ms iSkirt that she puts up with me ?
Actually, that’s a crook question to end with, someone might answer it. So, ummm…
What’s one Great thing and one Ungreat thing you could truthfully put on a dating site profile (if you were single of course) ?

One more thing.
Once I wrote “Hot, cool, and way too good for me.”
And along came Ms iSkirt, and I got everything I asked for.

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6 thoughts on “Strange Predilection

  1. That photo makes me laugh. Oh Ms iSkirt, you’re a helluva girl.

    Mmm, my two things: Really good company if you hate to talk . . . and . . . um . . . Okay, that’s all I’ve got.

    • Ain’t she just ?
      I hate to talk. Well, actually, I just hate hearing me talk. Shut the fuck up, I think at me, but I just don’t listen to me, and I’m left just listening to me again, hating the sound of my whiny voice.

  2. Hmmmmm….great & not so great in one is in order methinks….”Honest – to a fault” would sum it up.

    As for the why – why not? She obviously enjoys who you are…all of the yous! Or maybe not all, but she enjoys enough of the yous to put up with yous she doesn’t quite like as much. She’s also pretty special & so, dear brother, are you. Which is why we love you…much as you may hate to hear that!

    • Great fault that fault…
      Hmmm, not sure she does enjoy me any more… comspicuous by her absence here isn’t she ?
      Perhaps she’s preparing a scathing barbarous comment and it needs to go through several rounds of editing to come out just right.

  3. It seems obvious to me why she puts up with you. You are clearly a good soul.

    Great and ungreat? I’m very trusting but I have hard time trusting.

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