Free Review Copies

Free Review Copies

My awesome publisher, Silky Oak Press, still has a few free ebook copies of Midlife to give away in exchange for honest reviews.
And if Midlife’s not exactly your cup of tequila, I’m pretty sure they’ll have something that is, just waiting for the right reviewers to discover them.
There’s some real quality writing there, from love stories to thrillers to literary fiction, most of you should find something to fall in love with.
They give away 25 of each book, so if they’re all gone when you get there, Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m only the matchmaker, trying to help a few beautiful books and readers to find each other.

Midlife hits Number 8 in Australian Kindle Store! Number 1 Bestseller Humour Fiction AND Romance!

Not a joke! I’ve never written so many exclamation marks. Check this out. Number 3 in Literature and Fiction. We may never see it again, so look twice. Bookmark it maybe. Lick the screen. Not at the same time as me, that would be sick. Hmmm, story idea…


It seems there’s much to be said for the kindness of strangers. Midlife’s been selling a few copies, going okay for a first book by a new writer I guess, although it’d sold very few copies in Australia, where you’d expect it may do well, if anywhere.

Then last week Alarna Rose Gray, author of the lovely “Hello Pepi: A Toy Dog is for Real Series” did a wonderful blog post about Midlife, and it seems some of Alarna’s friends and followers are not averse to buying a book she described as “irreverent, uplifting and life-changing.”

I know, right? Most of us just thought it was just a filthy book with a rather attractive pickle on the cover and a cute picture of a puppy on the dedications page.

Anyway, it seems it was the catalyst Midlife needed to start selling here, and it’s kept selling. It even went to Numero Uno in the humour fiction category, for which I’ll post another picture because none of you will believe me anyway, me being a liar fiction writer and all.Image

It was also at Number One in the Romance category. I somehow forgot to take a screenshot, but you can tell it was there because the two books in front of it in the first photo are definitely not Romances. Now, before you get carried away and ask old Harry to loan you some money for that new yacht you’ve had your eye on, you should understand that our population’s tiny, and it doesn’t take all that many sales to achieve these numbers here. In fact, the book’s sold a similar number in the U.S Kindle store lately, was going pretty well in fact, though has now fallen to around the 20,000 mark. Still, it was cool that it got to 3406, but even cooler to get a Kindle U.S Satire Bestseller screenshot with my funny little book sitting next to…wait for it…this is so cool…



Well how would you like to be sandwiched between Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman and Chuck Palahniuk? With Bridget Jones on top of you? (Did I just hear you squeal Averil Dean?)

So, one last shot, again, because I may never see such numbers again as long as I write. (As I write this, it’s at #41 overall, 3 in Humour Fiction and 10 in Romance…



So I don’t know how many of Alarna’s friends bought the book, but it was a very kind thing she did to share her thoughts on it with the people she knows, and today, right now, I’m certainly very appreciative of The Kindness of Strangers.

So, do you think a little kindness can make a lot of magic?


What would you do if you found yourself sandwiched between Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman and Chuck Palahniuk?


How should we talk about mental health?


I’ll be brief. As people who care about others, it wouldn’t hurt any of us to invest five or so minutes in reading this excellent TED article, and hope its wisdom sinks into our actions a little. Every person’s actions can make a difference.
And for those of us who are writers, we are in the privileged position of being able to contribute in a second way too — the right word, a feeling captured, a This Is Me moment someone reads in a book one day, can save a life.
Five or so minutes to read this, okay?
Sorry to be soapbox-ey, but it matters.

Originally posted on TED Blog:

At TEDxMet, Andrew Solomon gave an extremely moving talk about depression. (This shot was snapped during an upbeat moment.) Today, we ask this speaker—and several other experts—how can we do a better job of talking about mental health?

At TEDxMet, Andrew Solomon gave an extremely moving talk about depression. (This shot was snapped during an upbeat moment toward the end of the talk.) Today, we ask this speaker—and several other experts: how can we do a better job of talking about depression and other mental health issues?

Mental health suffers from a major image problem. One in every four people experiences mental health issues — yet more than 40 percent of countries worldwide have no mental health policy. Across the board it seems like we have no idea how to talk about it respectfully and responsibly.

Stigma and discrimination are the two biggest obstacles to a productive public dialogue about mental health; indeed, the problem seems to be largely one of communication. So we asked seven mental health experts: How should we talk about mental health? How can informed and sensitive people do it right – and how…

View original 1,505 more words

Midlife (A Crazy Stupid Love Story)

Is this not the coolest book cover you ever saw?


Well, it is to me.Image

Because it’s mine.

My filthy, disgusting, disgraceful, insulting, farcical little novel has finally become a reality.

It will never win an award, be part of any school curriculum, be featured on ABCTV’s Book Club, or be given to anyone’s Granny for Christmas. Unless their Granny loves to read books with chapter names like Don’t Talk to the Underpants, It Makes Her Orgasm You Know, Our Collective Willies, Show Us Your Truncheon Officer, You Can’t Say Penis in Here, and Bannister, Horse, Banana. 

But it IS real, it’s available from Amazon as an ebook or paperback (other stores soon), and my wonderful friends at Silky Oak Press have done the most amazing job of bringing it into the world, and I couldn’t be more grateful. To Juliette in particular, who not only published the book, but designed the beautiful cover, as well as the really cool banner you can see over at the website.

So, because it won’t win any awards, I’ll thank a few people here, for the wonderful editing and proofing they did, or for reading early drafts and giving great feedback that helped to make it a better book. Thanks to Dave and Alan and Greg and Kerrie and Cinzia and Averil, you all helped so much. And again, to Juliette, who put so much work into making it happen.

Maybe the book will sell, and maybe it won’t — but the people at Silky Oak Press have produced a quality book, beautifully laid out, with great cover art, fantastic editing and proof reading, and given it every chance. If it doesn’t sell, it’ll be because the writing wasn’t as good as they thought it was, and I’ll just have to do better next time.

So, World. Is this an end or a beginning?







So, since my last blog post I was melting butter again (pancakes this time) and saw another photo opportunity. Not sure what this looks like, but I’m pretty sure some people will find it upsetting anyway. Certainly Bruce, who’s considered huge in the insect world, but…

Anyway, I also remembered I wrote a poem called Melt.

So here’s that.


A secret life
to hide…
Is feeling

Sometime a he
come home to hide,
And touch a she
so deep inside
And torture be
a time he lied
And healing be
a word she cried

Then six cold men,
a frozen line,
No promise when,
no truth of time.
No now or then,
pretence of fine,
To live again ?
Sans lies sans fear sans wine….

Secret life
Feeling tips

Enlivened minds are melt
and faintest touch of skin,
a breathlessness heartfelt,
a falling floating in.
Sweat upon a lip,
two melt into a space
of heart and mind and hip,
and crushing flesh and face.

And when the moment’s done
and nothing left to hide,
The feeling to come,
a rising of the tide.
And riding on a wave
of love truth and desire,
The moment that we gave
did set our Lives afire…

Actually, I even made a stupid video for it. It’s had, like, 300 views in four years. And only 278 of them were me! I should have just linked to that instead of all this copying and pasting. But whatever. You should totally watch it if you’re really bored and have a minute and 13 seconds to kill. And I don’t sound like this all the time. Honest.


Steel and Feathers

Some years, men are not strong.

“What weighs more, a ton of steel or a ton of feathers?”
It’s what they ask you
when you’re a child.
(They hope to trip you up and make you wrong).

Then in your life,
your man life,
you try to find a home (that is a place to rest and be).
The soft and hard
they always weigh the same,
You be too much
of one and then the other (always wrong).

But one day,
in a really lucky life
you’ll find a place,
(and when I say
a place,
make no mistake,
of course
that place
it is a person)
This place you’ll find,
a place
where things aren’t weighed —
and you,
you’re right enough
(with her you’re home,
you’re always home,
and home is where you’ll always want to be)

Limerick Day

words hang in the air, somebody’s home, 2013

Okay, it’s Limerick Day, peoples.
Or Limerick Week.
Or Limerick Month maybe. I don’t do many blog posts.
Post a limerick you wrote yourself, or one someone else wrote (attributed if possible, though limericks seem to quickly become the property of the world), or both if you like. Or six limericks. Ten?
Or a good excuse for why the fuck you can’t even post one lousy limerick.

Did you know limericks didn’t even originate in Limerick?